Bored
by Swtie Pie Pnai
Summary: A story of what happens when the Turks and a couple of insane girls are bored.


--------BORED  
By, **Strawbs** and **Kioko**

Disclaimer: Well, here goes. The characters in this fic are all copyright to their rightful owners. We're just borrowing them. Hehe...We're also not making a profit out of this either. It's just for fun. And also, we're not exactly sure what we're gonna write so far, so be prepared for the wierd. Ok! Let's get started! 

So the Turks were sitting in their lounge, awaiting their orders for the day. It was sunny outside, but there was something wrong... 

"Dammit! I'm so bored!" exclaimed Reno. "It's noon and we STILL have had nothing to do! Why don't we head off somewhere since we're obviously not needed here at the moment?" 

"Like where?" asked Rude. 

"Dunno. But I'm gonna die of boredom if we don't do something." 

"Good. Then we better just stay right here and wait for Reno to die of boredom," said Tseng. 

"Why do you want me to die?" asked Reno. 

"So that you would stop this nonsense. I'm getting a headache," he replied. 

"Oh...HEY! Wait a minute!" 

"What?" the rest of the Turks asked. 

"Why don't we go to the beach?" 

"Eh?" they all replied back. 

"We should go to the beach," he said. 

"But we don't even have the day off," said Elena. 

"So? That's the fun of it. I wonder how long Rufus won't notice we're gone?" 

"I'm game," said Rude. 

"Well...I guess I'm in. I've been wanting to get a tan lately," commented Elena. 

"I don't want to go," said Tseng. 

"Are you sure?" asked Reno. "There'll be lotsa pickles there." 

"PICKLES!?" he exclaimed. "Well, why didn't you say so?" And with that, he grabbed his fellow Turks and skipped all the way to Costa Del Sol. 

Strawbs: Don't ask about the pickles. It just popped into my head. See how wierd this is becoming? 

They finally arrived at Costa Del Sol after miles and miles of skipping. There was a sign above the entrance that said, "COSTA DEL SOL'S 1ST ANNUAL PICKLE FESTIVAL." 

Tseng looked around to see...well, lots of pickles. "Yay! Pickles! Pickles! Pickles!" he shouted. He then ran off to a nearby pickle stand and bought some pickles...Along with the Official Pickle Festival T-Shirt , a big plush pickle, and other wierd stuff. 

"Hm. I was joking 'bout the pickles," said Reno. "Ah well! At least we'll be able to keep him here longer." 

"I'm off to get my tan!" said Elena. She went ahead and left Reno and Rude at the entrance. 

"So what do we do now, Reno?" asked Rude. 

They looked around and came across a piece of crumpled paper on the sand. Rude picks it up and opens it and it reads: "1 (913) 768-7523" 

Reno snatches it out of his hand and asks, "What's this?" 

"I think it's a phone number," Rude replied. 

"Oh...Um, why don't we give this dude a prank phone call?" 

"YEAH!" exclaimed Rude. So they ran to the nearby inn and headed straight for the pay phone. "Uhh...Can I call him?" 

"Why?" asked Reno. 

"Well, I've got a REALLY funny joke!" 

"Alright!" 

Reno and Rude: "MUAHAHAHA-Ok! Let's do it!" 

So Rude picks up the phone and dials the number and a woman picks it up. "Hello?" asked the lady. 

"Uh..um...is...your refrigerator running?" he asked, trying to keep himself from bursting out laughing. 

"Well, I just moved here so I don't really have one right now," she said. 

"Well...then...*giggle*...you should...hahaha...GO CATCH IT!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" *click* 

"That was great, Rude!" exclaimed Reno as he rolled on the floor laughing. 

"You damn right it was good! And you know why!? Cause I'm just cool like that!" he replied. The people nearby just stared at them while the two Turks laughed their heads off. 

And then suddenly, a woman in a yellow dress comes in and says, "Alright! Where are you, Ultimecia!? You hurt my Irvinie and you're gonna pay!" Then the people look at her and she looks around and notices where she is and says, "Um, sorry. Wrong story. Come on, chocobo, let's get her! WOOOO-HOOOO!!!" She runs through the wall with the chocobo following close behind. 

Chocobo: "Wark!" 

Reno and Rude look at each other and then...they start to laugh again, so the people stare at them instead of the big hole in the wall shaped like the woman in the yellow dress. 

Strawbs: "Meanwhile, at the _other_ woman's residence..." 

"The hell?" She dials Star69 and the pay phone Reno and Rude just used started to ring. 

They look up and Rude says, "I think you should answer it, Reno." 

"Why?" 

"Because Cool Rude said so!" 

"Fine...Hello?" 

"Hello," said the woman. "Are you the bastard that called my house and asked if my refrigerator was running?" 

Reno covered up the phone and said, "Whoa! You didn't tell me that the dude was a chick, Rude!" 

"Sorry. I was having fun." 

Then Reno turned around and started to talk to the woman again. "Hey. Sorry 'bout my friend. He found your phone number on the ground and told me that he was gonna dial the number and prank call whoever was on the other side...I just couldn't stop him. Sorry 'bout that." 

"Hey! What the hell!?" Rude tried to grab the phone from Reno but he just pushed him away and ignored him and kept on talking. 

"So if there's anything I could do to make it up to you..." 

"Oh, it's alright," said the woman. Why don't you just come over to my house and have dinner with me...you know, to keep me from being lonely. I mean, I just moved here and all..." 

"It's a date!" said Reno. *click* "...Wait a minute. Now where does she live?" 

"Ring! Ring!" said the phone. 

Reno picked it up and said, "Hello!?" hoping it was the mystery lady. 

"Plagranok loofato daanchacha lambodo," said the alien. 

"What the...AAAHHH!!! It's an alien!!!" 

"Poolalooloo grandarko kashimaymay frandork." 

Strawbs: "Ahem. Let me translate. They said, 'Hello? Hello!? Is this Tony's Pizza!? We want twenty-five thousand large cheese pizzas with breadsticks on the side!' And now, back to our story." 

The people start to panic and run out of the inn. Reno grabs Rude and makes his way out too. 

"RENOOOOOOOO!!!" exclaimed Rude. "YOU'RE MAKING MY PANTS FALL OFF!!!" 

Reno looks back to see Rude in his bright pink bunny boxers laying on the front steps of the inn. He stops, looks at him, and says, "Nice boxers." 

Rude: "....." 

Reno takes out a camera and takes a few shots of Rude and his bright pink bunny boxers. 

"You're gonna die, oh bestest friend of mine," Rude said in a nasty tone. 

"But I've got a date," he said. 

"You don't even know her fucking name! Oh, and another thing. Do you even know where she lives!?" 

"I'll manage!" said Reno. He runs around the whole town knocking on every door he sees asking, "Are you the lady with no refrigerator?" 

Thirty minutes later, he comes up to a pleasant little house and he steps up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy quarterback-looking guy comes out and asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" 

Reno replies, "I take it you're not the lady without a refrigerator." 

"YOU MUST BE TALKING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER, RIGHT!? IF YOU ARE, THEN I'LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!!!" 

"Um, no! Not at all! I'm not talking about your...*the daughter comes up behind her father and peeks over his shoulder*...your VERY HOT daughter." 

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" asked the man. 

"Uh, I gotta go!" And Reno runs off before the man could chop his head off with his big, bloody butcher knife. Then he runs into a young lady during his grand escape and they both fall to the ground. 

After helping each other up, the woman says, "Thanks...Um, you don't happen to be the friend of the bastard that called my house and asked if my refrigerator was running?" 

"Hey! You must be the lady with no refrigerator!" 

"Heehee...That's right," said the woman. 

Then a big plush pickle drops on top of Reno. "Hey, sorry about that," said a familiar voice. "...Reno! Is that you!?" asked Tseng. 

"Hehe...Bright pink bunny boxers...Ehehe..." replied the dizzy Reno. 

"Eh? What's he talking about?" Tseng asked. 

"Dunno," said the woman. She helped Reno up and asked if he was ok. 

After he finished babbling about bright pink bunny boxers, he sat up and asked, "What happened?" 

"Well, to tell you the truth, a big pickle fell on you, and then you started to talk about bright pink bunny boxers." 

"I what!? Oh, shit! If Rude finds out I squealed even though it wasn't my fault...*glares at Tseng and his big plush pickle*...then he'll kill me!!!" 

"Don't worry. I won't say anything," said the woman. "Now that you're back to normal, why don't we introduce ourselves? My name's Kioko." 

"Reno." 

"Would you like to come in, Reno?" 

"Sure." So they walk in and they eat Kioko's homemade stroganoff for dinner. 

Strawbs: "Meanwhile..." 

Rude: "....." He gets up and pulls his pants up after forty minutes of laying there exposing the world to his bright pink bunny boxers. Then you-know-who and his big plush pickle ride by on a bicycle pointing and laughing cuz' he knows Rude's little secret. Then Tseng's Nokia cell phone rings which causes him to crash into a fertilizer shop. 

"Hello?" said Tseng. 

"Where the hell are you Turk people!? President Rufus has been looking all over for you and he's getting really pissed!" exclaimed Heidegger. 

"Um, we'll be on our way back to Shinra Headquarters soon, sir." *click* "Rude, we just got busted. We'd better get the others. I'll get Elena and you get Reno." 

"Alright, sir," replied Rude. 

Strawbs: "At Kioko's house..." 

They had finished eating and were sitting on the couch talking. 'She's loosened up already...time to go in for the kill,' Reno thought, when suddenly..."Ring! Ring! Ring!" said his dark blue Nokia cell phone. "Hello?" 

"Reno, it's Rude. We gotta go. Heidegger found out about our little 'break'." 

"Aw, shit!" Reno exclaimed. "Uh, Kioko? I gotta go. My boss is callin' me and he said to go NOW!" 

"Um, alright." 

He leans in and gives her a kiss on the lips. 

Strawbs: "Hey! You can't do that! Reno's MY favorite character!" 

Kioko: "Oh yeah? Well this story is both of ours ya know. I wanna have some fun too." 

Strawbs: "Whatever...Let's just get back to the story, ok?" 

"See ya around." And with that, he ran off to meet up with his fellow Turks. 

THE END. 

Strawbs: "That's no fair! I wasn't even in the story, and you were, AND you even got to kiss Reno!!! 

Kioko: "Then why didn't you put yourself in the story in the first place?" 

Strawbs: "Man..." 

Kioko: "Well, I promise there will be another story and I swear that you can be the star, which means that all you people that are reading this will have another undoubtedly disturbed tale to read. 

Strawbs: "And this conludes our perverted story." 

THE REAL END. 


End file.
